Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
