i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
handjob tips. give me some.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
