plz talk dirty to me
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
