I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
