bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
