id be glad to
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
