apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
