he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
