So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
