That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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