I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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