Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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