Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
