the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
