its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
