he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The uberlube is also flammable
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
