Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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