Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
