if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
