He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
