Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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