i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
