so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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