Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Still dying that you shit outside
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
