my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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