People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
