Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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