i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
