bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
