Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
