margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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