Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
