yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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