Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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