I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
