What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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