He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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