Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
