she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
