wake up i wanna do it froggy style
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
