1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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