You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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