Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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