Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
