she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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