Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
