Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
