This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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