i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
