Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
