Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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